Go figure.

Of course....with my WONDERFUL luck, I would get sick the week that I have a project, paper, presentation and a test.  I woke up yesterday unable to speak and my throat feels like I swallowed molten lava.  I think I pulled a muscle in my back from coughing too hard....and I'm NOWHERE near being done with school work.   F M L.

P.S.  I haven't been sick for more than 12 hours SINCE AUGUST.  Ugh!

                  

              

Procrastination is my middle name

I am the QUEEN of procrastination.   I WILL wait until the last minute to finish homework, study, and do projects. 

I have a 10 page Leadership and Management research paper that is due on March 5th.  We have to have at least 7 references, one of the being from the Harvard Business Review, which can only be accessed on campus.   GREAT! Not only do I have to go to the stinky cold library, I have to pay a $1 an hour to park. 

I'm dreading writing this paper.  I HATE writing papers.  I'd rather do 5 poster projects, than write a paper.   Don't get me wrong, I do like to write/blog.  I'll write you a paper about my day or my feelings any day of the week...but ask me to write a paper about policy and procedure....and it's a completely different story!

Nurses don't write papers! This is the reason we decided to NOT be English majors!!   

I just want spring break to get here!!!


UPDATE as of 7:05pm on February 26, 2010

I have YET to start searching for things for my paper.

Instead, I have

1. Applied for 5 RN positions, in Winston Salem NC, Spartanburg, SC, and Wilmington, NC.

2. Ate a 12 Thin Mint Girl Scout Cookies.   bye bye bikini.

3. Vented on the phone to 2 friends who are equallly as outraged as I am about the job search and this dang paper.

4. Blackberry Messaged my Daddy for like an hour.  We could have easily called each other, but he just got a new blackberry and has too much fun with it.

5. Searched for beach houses in the SC Lowcountry for our family vacay ( which SHOULD have been a lovely cruise to the Bahamas).

6. Blogged this.

See what I mean when I say procrastination is my middle name?

      
                    

Spring..please come soon!

I want WARM WEATHER!

I've never seen so many gloomy rainy cold days in my life.

As much as I will be cursing the sweltering muggy heat of the Carolinas come July, I will take humidity and sweat over cold wet rainy days ANY day.

Plus...this spring brings lots of goodness!

1. Carolina Cup on March 27th!

2. My 22nd on March 24th! 

( 8 more years and I'm 30 )

3. Class ring arrives on April 21st!

3. Nursing Pinning Ceremony on May 6th!

4. Graduation on May 7th!

( HOLY COW)

5. Hopefully nailing down a job!

6. Last few weeks with some of the best girls in the world!

What are you looking forward to this spring?


Xoxo,

Boo.

I have had the worst time over the past year when it comes to vacations

No matter what I do....something happens and screws everything up.

1. 

Ski Trip of 2009 with my boyfriends family turned sour.  We were staying in his aunts cute little cabin in the woods.  The ski resort was about 30 minutes away.  We had a lovely little dinner before we were about to go nightskiing.  Daves parents left us with one of their cars.

  I get to the top of the top of the mountain, and I feel like I got punched in the gut, and then felt like I was being blown up with air.  I've never felt pain like that. The first thing that comes to my mind is a bowel obstruction ( hypochondriac nurse's 1st instinct).  Dave notices and could tell that I felt like I was going to die.  I literally told him....I'm either going to vomit or do something else, right here right now.  I totally thought I was going to have a Charlotte moment from Sex and the City. 

 So...I leave him standing on the top of the moutain and completely flew down the mountain.  I could have won gold if I was racing someone.  I made it to the bathroom.  Threw up 4 times in like 20 minutes....among other things.  I call Dave and tell him I have to go back to the cabin.  He gets pissy and says he'll be there in a minute.  He didn't realize how sick I was until he saw me.  I had my ski pants on and a long sleeve shirt and thats all....and it was like 20 degrees outside.  I was burning up.  

He ended up taking me back to the cabin and by some miracle I didn't throw up or poo my pants during the 30 minute ride back .  Funny thing about the whole situation.  The cabin had ONE bathroom.     HORRIBLY EMBARASSING!!

2.  

Last February, I was invited to go to Berlin, Germany with my friend to visit her brother over our spring break.  I got my passport expedited so it would get to me by the time we left.  So.. I get my passport, and then before we book, this friend ( I have forgiven her) announces to me that  the other friend who was going along with us couldn't go. 

So...her mom got time off work and is now going on the trip.  I had a gut feeling this would happen.  Instead of a fun college spring break trip to Europe, the fun of the trip would be changed because of the parental going along with us.  STILL...I would have gone! But, friend wanted this trip to now be a family trip. Again...forgiven her and thank God I didn't go because my Daddy had an scary health problem which amounted to 1 night in the hospital .  We thought he was having a heart attack...he didn't though.  Anyway..another story another time.

 So.... Megan didn't get to go to Europe.

3.  

I went on a cruise in May of 2009.  The cruise was SO much fun!  However, on the FIRST day on Cococay, I decide to go snorkeling. No, I didn't get bit by a shark, or a stung by a sting ray.  I lost my contact.  Big deal?  Yes.  I didn't bring an extra pair like I ALWAYS do.  And I'm blind as a bat without my contacts.  So...for the next 2.5 days...I could hardly see out of my right eye. 

It made drinking more fun though!

4. 

 My family rented a beach house in Murrells Inlet, SC.   It was Day 2 of 4 that I would be spending my family and then Dave and I were going to drive to Topsail Island, NC to spend the rest of the week with his family.  We decided to go get shrimp...in the rain.  

I was driving along and I come to a place in the road where there is a yield sign...for the other side of the ride.  I'm a cautious driver and I see that there is a car coming.  So, I slow down, just in case she doesn't stop.  She stops, so I go through, because I have the right-of-way. Then all I see is a red ugly car coming towards me and then I felt impact.   All I felt was that my leg felt like it was on fire ( It wasn't, nothing was on fire). 

 THEN.  The lady drives off.  Dave flys out of the car like a bat out of hell and flags down a truck to follow Miss-Hit-and-Run.  The guy ended up getting her tag number.   Turns out that she DID have insurance, but would NEVER talk to the insurance people.  She must have been hiding something. So I spent the rest of the vacay on the phone talking to multiple insurance people on the phone.  JOY.  

Oh...and it sucks to have whiplash at the beach.  Waves and whiplash don't mix.

5. 

As a graduation present, my family, Dave's family, Dave's twins girlfriends family and like 8 other families were going to go on a cruise in June.  We had been planning it since September.  We were going through a travel agent, who we trusted completely.  We had our money ready for the first deposit, but then the travel agent tells us that because we have such a large group, we didn't need to pay the deposit in November.  She said that there was a policy change and the girl that she talked to with Carnival said that Carnival didn't need a payment from us until February. 

 So.  We wait until February, and our travel agent is about to pay them for our whole trip.  The 'girl' our agent talked to was a 'new hire' and completely LIED about us not having to pay the deposit.  It wasn't our travel agents fault. It was this new girls fault. She ruined my vacation!.  Carnival accepted sole responsiblity for their mistake, but they REFUSE to let us have the group rate price.  So instead, they want us to pay like $200 more than what we would have originally payed. 

So... NO cruise for us! The cruise was out of Charleston,SC too. So... not only was it a good price, but we would have only had to drive 2 hours to get there.   And with everyones schedules ...it was the only cruise that fit for everyone. 

No graduation trip.  I'm so mad!


Xoxo,

Summer...please come soon!

My weekend was amazing!  The weather in Clemson, SC was gorgeous!! I was kicking myself for not taking my rainbows with me!  I don't think it got below 50degrees during the day! Can't wait for warm weather to come and stay!!   We went to a baseball game on Friday.  Never actually went into the game! Then we went downtown...well to the 3 little teensy weensy bars in downtown Clemson.  Saturday night, we went bowling.  Which was toooo much fun.  My highest score was a 29.  I think that means I made like 8 straight gutter balls.  BUT who's counting?! 

Chels and I at the baseball tailgate.

My little Clemson Tiger. 

No good photos were taken downtown. : ( 

TONIGHT! Was a different story.  The Colonial Center at the University of South Carolina turned into Margaritaville!

I, along with several friends went to the Jimmy Buffett concert.  It was amazing!! He played for 2 hours and 45 minutes.  We tailgated from 4 until 7:45pm!  It was a great show.  The guys in front of us were smoking , so I got a contact high.  Joy.  Pot smoke makes me want to vom.  I'm glad I never got into that stuff.  That was the only downer of the night!

My roommate Lizzy and I tailgating!

This is how you tailgate in SC.

A Landshark !!

We had a pretty awesome view!

The man himself!

He is an awesome musician!

I loooove this Jimmy Buffett song.  He didn't play it tonight :'(

Key West anybody?

Xoxo,

Tiger Town Bound!

I'm going to Clemson today for the weekend to see the boy : ) ! I think thats the most excited I'll ever get about going there, but it's ok...its not football season! :)    I haven't been in a long time, I think since the second weekend of January.  AND for me, it's a long weekend! I have a ton of school work that I need to do, but I'm dragging it along with me.  Dave has class tomorrow and SCUBA class on Saturday morning, so I think I can manage!

I'm also excited that the high tomorrow in Clemson, SC is 57!  I can't wait for spring!

AND 78 days until graduation!

Yesterday at clinical, one of the nurse managers gave me a little bag of coffee and a cute little piece of paper.  This is what it said.  I love it !

Carrot? Egg? or Coffee?

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water. In the first, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs and the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what do you see?"

"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.

She brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they got soft.She then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg.

Finally, she asked her to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled, as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked. "What's the point, mother?"

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity--boiling water--but each reacted differently.

The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.


The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But, after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.

The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water they had changed the water.

"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?"

Think of this: Which am I?

Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity, do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff?

Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you.

When the hours are the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate to another level?

How do you handle Adversity?

ARE YOU A CARROT, AN EGG, OR A COFFEE BEAN?

AUTHOR UNKNOWN

I thought this was really neat...and I can't wait to enjoy my coffee next week!


Xoxo,

Yay!

I got my first blog award! Thank you Kelly at Lifes a Beach!  I love blogging and just knowing that people are reading my stuff means a lot! :) Thanks Girls!

The requirements for this award are to list 6 things you're a master at....and then pass it along to your favorite blogs!

1. I am a master at sleeping in! Helllo night shifts in the future!

2. I am a master at making the BEST chicken and dumplings EVER!

3. I am a master at remembering funny movie quotes! Well...at least I think I am a master at that

4. I am a master at NOT cleaning my room when I should.

5. I am a master at singing along to the radio!

6. I am a master at being ME!

I give this award to these awesome ladies, who entertain me daily with their blogging skills!

Kassie at Raindrops on Roses

Katie B at Tales of a GRITS

Lauren at Adventures of a nomad just trying to find her way

Jill at We Are Man and Wife! ...Almost

Lindsay at Southern Cinderella 

Xoxo,

Shotgun Valentines ?

So...Dave and I never have been big Valentines day people.  We always get each other a goofy completely ridiculous card though.  This year Dave got me a little box.  Full of SHOTGUN SHELLS!! 

Shotgun shells? For Valentines Day?  Yes... and I loved it!

Last year for Christmas, my dad got me a shotgun.  No I'm not a redneck who likes to go shoot deer and poor little animals.  My dad and brother are into sporting-clay shooting.  I've always loved to go shooting with them, but I never had a gun of my own.  So ... my little wish came true on Christmas 2008. 

Me and Dave :)

Me and MY lovely Beretta 20-gauge!

Looove him!

Artsy Fartsy 'shot'

Dave and his brother love sport shooting too.  My brother is on a team that made it to the youth nationals a few years ago in San Antonio, Texas.  My dad collects antique guns.  I couldn't even begin to tell you how many rifles and shotguns we have in our house.

Shooting sporting clays is something I love doing.  It feels great to have the guy against your shoulder, feel the punch of the recoil and then see the 'clay pigeon' burst in the distance.   Addicting !!

Olympics!

I LOVE THE OLYMPICS.  Everything about it just draws me in and I've been like that for years.  I love the summer and the winter olympics equally and just can't get enough.  I'm kind of obsessive because I google and keep up with all of the athletes . Yea...I'm a weirdo!!  I think my interest comes from the wanna be athlete in me. HAA.  I lack any type of athletic ability.

 I remember it was after the 1996 Games in Atlanta, that I joined gymnastics. Maybe I was thinking that one day I'd be flipping for gold medals.  I stuck with gymnastics for a year....I even had an American flag leotard!! Don't laugh....I was only 8.  I'd go to the ice skating rinks every year after the winter olympics.  I WAS pretty good.  I mean I COULD skate backwards and forwards without falling.  Sooo naive.  After the 2000 Olympics in Sydney, my little gymnastics Olympic dream came back. I remember in the pool every summer, I'd practice my handstands and backflips until I was pruny.  I gave up when I cracked my head open on the side of the pool after doing 15+ underwater backflips.  6 staples later...I realized that I just need to get my Olympic fill every 2 years on TV.

SO...I'm very excited about the Vancouver games.  There is nothing sweeter than see our own up on the medal stage and hearing the National Anthem.  I get chills....and I just love seeing the emotion in their faces.  Can't wait to see who wins!  There is actually a girl originally from my hometown and who went to my high school at the games.   Lauren Cholewinski, she is a speedskater racing in the 500m.  I really hope she does well!!

GO TEAM USA!

Memory is in the music.

You know that song that just brings a flood of memories to you?  The one that is practically indescribable.  I think its amazing how simple things like music can trigger such emotions.  I really have no idea why I'm blogging about this but I thought I'd share.

1.  Mr Bojangles by  Nitty Gritty Dirt Band

When I hear this song, it brings back wonderful memories of me and my daddy dancing around the living room.    I'd tell him 'Sing Bojangles!" I had to have been 3 or 4.   He'd either play it or sing it and we'd just twirl around the living room.  My favorite part was  the "Jump so high' part.  Theres something about that part of the song that I just love and I still do.   I'd jump and just thought I was the only little girl in the world.  I love this version of the song, but Brad Paisley and Keith Urban remade the song with the NGDB and it is pretty awesome too.

2.  Old Blue Chair, acoustic version by Kenny Chesney

There is something about this song that makes me weak in the knees.  Maybe it's my love of the ocean, and the sand and the sun, or maybe its the beautiful words.  When KC sings "And I've watched boats sail in and out of cinnamon bay"...chills literally go up my spine.  I have no idea why.  It's just one of those songs that does something ridiculous to me.  It makes me long for the solemness of being alone on a beach with nothing but the ocean in front of me.  This song is amazing.  Nothin' compares...

It sways back and forth, with the help of the wind. 

It seems to always be there, like an old trusted friend

I was as far away from him as it looks! I won 2 tickets 2 hours before showtime.  My other tickets were 5 rows from the top of Williams Brice Stadium.  Amazing!

3.  Free Falling by Tom Petty

Gah..I love this song.  Describes me to a T.  Theres something about the power this song gives to me when I'm in my car, volume up and just singin' my little heart out.

4. Desperado by the Eagles

This song brings me back to 7th, 8th and 9th grade.  There was little thing back home called Junior Assembly.  There would be one each month of the school year on a Saturday night, a Holly Ball in December and a Spring Ball in April. It was like a middle school cotillion where they taught us dances like the Charleston, Swing, Salsa and the shag.  Each month would have different dance that we would learn. We had to be invited by someone who was in Jr Assembly in years prior,  so it was an exclusive event in our eyes..  It was the talk of the town among middle schoolers.  We'd get dressed up in our best clothes, and we'd go out to dinner before and then parents would drop us off.  Of course it was middle school, so half the girls were taller than the guys, so there was definitely awkwardness among the guys, but I was one of those girls that LIVED for Jr. Assesmbly.  One of the not so fun parts of it was when we'd partner up with a random person via the boy line and the girl line.  Sometimes I got lucky, sometimes I got the fat kid with sweaty hands.  But then after we learned the dance we were supposed to learn, the DJ/Dance instructor would turn out the lights and everyone would literally fly back our respective 'cliques'....and dance like we were 7 shots in on our 21st birthday. So much fun.  Hahaa.  Anyways....this song was always the LAST song of the night.  So when we heard this song, we knew we'd better try to dance with someone good, because whoever we danced with, we'd hold them close and imagine that they were whoever we wanted them to be...and sometimes they were that person (even better for a hormonal 13 year old ).   Everytime I hear this song I think of Jr. Assembly and all the memories that went along with it.  It's a sad song, but I never get sad because of it, I just think back to my days of bad hair and braces...and it's all good.

5. Yesterday by the Beatles

My dad would sing this song to me when I was little.  It was so calming to me.  It had to be his voice that made this song so special to me.  Also, my chorus did a Beatles show my senior year of high school, and this was one of the songs that we performed.  I remembered choking through it on the my last performance. 

And last but not least.....

5.   Freebird by Lynyrd Skynyrd

Gah...this song is just toooo great.  The guitar rifts in it are spectacular and the lyrics are just .... freeing.  Indescribable emotions again.  And now they are even stronger because Dave and I went to see them this summer in Charlotte.  It was an amazing show...and it the pain of losing our friend John was still raw.

If I leave here tomorrow...

Would you still remember me?

I'm curious....What song or songs bring back memories to you? 

Blessed

I had a community health clinical today.  I was to follow and observe/assist a parish nurse. Parish nursing specialized practice of professional nursing that holds the spiritual dimension to be central to practice. The focus is on the promotion of health within the context of the values, beliefs and practices of a faith community.  There isn't as much hands-on care, but more counseling and being a resource to 'patients'.

First, my professor emails me directions to the place.  All she says is that it is a highrise for older adults.  OK...an assisted living home.   I get it,  its run by a church and a parish nurse is in charge of the healthcare there. 

COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY WRONG.

The directions lead me to the most sketch place in town.  I'm nervous to get out of my car.  I realise that the highrise is one of several public housing developments....or 'the projects'.   I see a woman pulling a suitcase with a big jacket on, staring at me as I'm trying to find a parking spot close to the building.  I automatically assume she is homeless and on crack and is going to ask me for money.  Then she waves...and I see that she is wearing scrubs....and the suitcase isn't a suitcase.  It's her briefcase.  She's the RN I was to follow.  I'm completely mortified.  I was SO quick to judge, and felt horrible about it.  I soon find out that she's only been a parish nurse for a year and has worked on an oncology floor for the past 19 years.

We go into her office, which is in the Public Housing Authority office, which is in the bottom of the highrise. She makes some phone calls, and we get into her car to go pick up a patient to bring him to the doctors office.  So we drive from Project #1 to Project #2.  The man doesn't come down, so Helen and I go inside.  It looked like the lobby of a motel.  Then we go into the elevator...which reeks of cigarette smoke.  Not fresh cigarette smoke ( if there is such a thing), but smoke that has never had a chance to disperse into real fresh air.  We go up to floor 17.  I am shocked when we get out.  It looked like stuff I've seen in movies.  Dark barely lit hallways, hard concrete floors, even more uncirculated cigarette smoke filled air.  We go to Mr Greggs apartment, and knock.  He comes to the door and he looks like one of 194287 men that have asked me for a dollar in my 4 years in college.  He has no foot below his ankle.  We go inside his apartment and I immediately compare it to my apartment.  There's a kitchen the size of my bathroom.  A bathroom is the size of my walk in closet.  It looked like something in a prison.  The sink was ancient and there was nothing concealing the pipes throughout the whole apartment.  The bedroom looked like something you see in a movie where a hooker might live.  Again, it reeked.   Anyways, we helped the health department give H1N1 vaccinations, and I checked like 40 peoples blood pressures.  I felt weird being really close to them. I could smell the alcohol on the breath of many, and some were drunk...at 12 noon.   At one point, I got dizzy and felt like I was going to hit the floor, but I soon realized that I was taking very shallow breaths.  I was doing in subconsciously.  I didn't want to hit the floor...so I breathed normally.  I'm kicking myself right now for doing that.  My chest feels heavy and I've had a 'smokers cough' ever since I left there.   This sounds really bad....but is it bad that when I left, I felt dirty? I was in my car and I smelled like an ashtray.  My hair stunk, and my nostrils would NOT let go of the stench.  I came home and took the hottest shower of my life.  Is it bad that I did that?

I felt like a stuck up rich bitch.  I felt horrible.  I definitely was the only white person there, and I had on minimum jewelry, only 2 rings and stud earrings, but wished I didn't have those on.  I felt like I was rubbing it in there faces just by being there. 

1.  I'm in college---70% of the people in the high rises are illiterate.
2.  I'm white...they probably already resent me for that.
3.  I felt awkward and out of place---I probably reeked of awkwardness.

I left today feeling so blessed for what I have. 
I'm blessed because I have a father and a mother. 
I'm blessed because I'm be able to work. 
I'm blessed because I am able to not work so that I can focus on school.  
I'm blessed because I've never had to wonder where my next meal will come from. 
I'm blessed because I have health insurance.
I'm blessed because I have my health. 
I'm blessed because I was born into a family who has never been without anything. 
I'm blessed because both of my parents have jobs. 
I'm blessed because I'm able to walk outside and not have to worry about getting robbed. 
I'm blessed because I'm able to walk outside and not have to worry about getting robbed by my neighbor.  Im blessed because I can read.
I'm blessed because I have an education.
I'm blessed because I am able to choose from a ton of clothes to wear.
I'm blessed because I am able to wash away the cigarette stench from by body and clothes.
I'm blessed because I've seen what it is like on the other side. 
I'm blessed to have had this experience.

I definitely think that any parish nurse who chooses to work in conditions like this truly a wonderful person.  I'm can honestly say, parish nursing is not for me.

**Names and situations have been changed to be compliant with HIPAA laws**

It's been months, and it feels like yesterday.

     My life was changed on June 5, 2009.  I had been working at the hospital for only 2 days.  I always had my cell phone on me, but always on silent.  That day, I had it on vibrate.  I got a 2 texts within minutes of each other.  I but didn't check them until about 30 minutes later.  I saw that the first one was from Dave, and then the other was from my friend Amanda.  I went into the break room and checked the messages.  I saw the words " John died in a car wreck last night ".  It hit me like a ton of bricks.  The tears started pouring out and I couldn't even get words out to tell my co-workers what happened.  I called my dad at work and studder sobbed the words out.  I could hear the pain in my dads voice.  I couldn't even imagine the pain his parents were going through.  I decided to stay at work until about 5pm that day. I knew if I went home, I'd make myself sick and I had to get my mind off what happened because I didn't want to believe it was true.  After work, Chelsea ( Daves brother's girlfriend) and I met up with Dave and Dan and about 20 of our friends from high school at a local bar and grill before we all went over the John's parents house.  The feeling in the air was during dinner was so weird.  Everyone was tearstained, there was times of silence, laughter, and memory sharing.  Then there were Fuzzy Navel shots, because thats how John would have had it.  We took his favorite in his memory.  Then we made the trek to his parents house.  It hurt my heart to see his and hear his mothers gutwrenching cries, to see his father's pain stricken face, to see my boyfriend cry at the loss of one of his best friends.  I've never felt that kind of pain before.  I didn't know how to respond to Dave's emotions.  I didn't know how to respond to my own emotions.  It hit me in waves.  I'd be fine for a while, but then a memory would come to mind and my stomach would turn and a lump would form in my throat.  Today it still hurts like hell....and it's been 8 months.  However, in those 8 months, I've learned so much about how precious life is.  John truely lived every single day of his short life like it was his last.  He never failed to make me laugh.  He loved his momma and strived to be like his Daddy.  He was their baby.  Their only child.  Over these past 8 months, Dave and I have gotten extremely close to his parents.  I think our presence helps them, and they help us.  Anyways, these two songs, were played at his funeral.   Never Alone by Lady Antebellum and Simple Man, by Lynyrd Skynyrd.  When I hear them, sometimes I smile, and sometimes I cry...but every time, I think of John.

May the angels protect you

Trouble neglect you

And heaven accept you when it's time to go home

May you always have plenty

Your glass never empty

Know in your belly

You're never alone

May your tears come from laughing

You find friends worth having

With every year passing

They mean more than gold

May you win and stay humble

Smile more than grumble

And know when you stumble

You're never alone

Never alone

Never alone

I'll be in every beat of your heart

When you face the unknown

Whereever you fly

This isn't goodbye

My love will follow you, stay with you

Baby you're never alone

Well, I have to be honest

As much as I want it

I'm not gonna promise that cold winds won't blow
So when hard times have found you

And your fear surround you

Wrap my love around you

You're never alone

Never alone

Never alone

I'll be in every beat of your heart

When you face the unknown

Wherever you fly

This isn't goodbye

My love will follow you stay, with you

Baby you're never alone.

John and I at Sr. Prom in 2006

Mama told me when I was young

Come sit beside me, my only son

And listen closely to what I say.

And if you do this

It will help you some sunny day.

Take your time... Don't live too fast,

Troubles will come and they will pass.

Go find a woman and you'll find love,

And don't forget son,

There is someone up above.

And be a simple kind of man.

Be something you love and understand.

Be a simple kind of man.

Won't you do this for me son,

If you can?

Forget your lust for the rich man's gold

All that you need is in your soul,

And you can do this if you try.

All that I want for you my son,

Is to be satisfied.

 

Boy, don't you worry... you'll find yourself.

Follow you heart and nothing else.

And you can do this if you try.

All I want for you my son,

Is to be satisfied

.

I miss you John.  You're in my heart forever.

Exercise Slump

I AM horrible at sticking to an exercise routine.  I am soooo good for about a week. Then, the weekend comes and that totally messes me up.  I haven't done my P90X videos since Friday..  I'm horrible.  BUT..I think a minute change will help me.  Sundays were my rest day.  SO...I'm changing my rest day to Saturday.  I think that I just get so caught up in sleeping in on Saturday mornings and going out on Saturday nights that I just forget about doing it.  Or I'm so pooped from the rest of the week that I just put it off..and then all of a sudden its Sunday.  SO.  I'm going to start back to the P90X stuff tomorrow. And tomorrow is YOGA! So that means that on Sunday I'll start with the 'old' Monday video.

I'm so mad at myself for all of this.  I've got so much fluff that needs to just go away.  I've got graduation at the beginning of May ( 92 days to be exact).  If I do my videos religiously...for 90 days.  I'll be hot and skinny by May 5th..  Then I can kick my workouts into high gear and loss a few more lbs by June 11th, which is a cruise that my family, Dave's family and a group of 20 of our parents friends are going on. 

WHICH MEANS BIKINI TIME!

I've been on the hunt for this summers swimsuit collection.

I think VS has the best selection

Here are some that I'm in love with! 
            

This one can be worn 5 different ways-->

<----TOO cute

This color pattern is called watercolors

<--I LOVE animal prints!

Bad Genes

My aunt has cancer for the 3rd time in her life.  About a month ago, she went to the ER because of a stabbing headache that wouldn't go away.  CT scans showed the she had several little mini strokes in tiny capillaries in her brain.  She's fine now though,  but she just got bloods tests results back from a special lab in Atlanta, and they  revealed that she has 2 genetic deficiencies. 

Protein C Deficiency and Antithrombin III Deficiency.  Protein C is a protein in your blood that prevents blood from clotting.  Without the protein, your blood is more likely to clot, you have a great chance of pulmonary embolism, etc.  Which would explain why my aunt had several deep vein thrombosis' after she had my cousin prematurely, 19 years ago.  Antithrombin is a substance in the blood that also limits the blood's ability to clot. Which is strike #2.  In people with congenital antithrombin deficiency, there is usually a reduced amount of this substance in the blood due to a genetic abnormality.  

My aunt has to be on coumadin for the rest of her life AND she can't eat foods high in Vitamin K, which is a LOT of good stuff like collard greens, spinach,  lettuce, broccoli, cabbage, peas, brussel sprouts, soybeans, cauliflower and green beans.  I loooove my veggies. Anyways, My aunts doctors recommended that my Dad and uncle get tested, as well as all the cousins.  I really hope that I don't have the gene.  I'm a worry wart and a nursing school induced hypochondriac.  I know TOO much about the horrors of DVTs, PEs and blood clots.  I know that if a large one throws and goes to your heart, you are dead.  Not good.

My Bad Genes

1.  Mama has scoliosis.  I was born with scoliosis.  Why she be actin' like that? She get it from her mamma.
2. I have pectoris excavatum.  It is a deformity of the anterior wall of the chest.  My breastbone curves in.  BUT it makes my cleavage loook pretty damn good.  I just hope it doesn't cause problems later in life.  Maybe thaaaaaaaats why I get so winded when I run. Haha... I wish.
3. Twins.  Haha. I don't know if this is a good trait or a bad trait...AND I date a twin.  We'll seee!
4. Junk in the trunk gene. Unfortunately....from both sides of the family.
5. Lactose intolerance. 

The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

Conclusion:

Eat and drink what you like. It is speaking English that kills you.

A Look Back at 2009

January

- VERY interesting psych clinical begins!

- Another ridiculous and stress semester begins.

-Roommate gets cute precious little chihuahua, named Darby Sweetbottom.

- Sinus infection numero tres of the school year

-Roommate situation gets heated.  It's me, and my 2 roommates against our antisocial psycho bitch roommate ( and her sasquatch/Chewbacca of a boyfriend.)

-Ski Trip with Dave and his family!

February

- Valentines Day and Dave came to Columbia!

- Sinus infection turned into bronchitis.

- First ever post-mortem care at clinical. Definitely a very strange and surreal experience. First time ever in a morgue. Hopefully my last time while I’m alive.

March

-Helped several March Baby Friends celebrate their 21st!

-Saw my friend John for the last time

-Celebrated my 21st!

-Carolina Cup Steeplechase Horse Race!!  Fun...Even though it rained cats and dogs!

-STILL haven’t gotten over the sinus/throat stuff from January.

-Roommate war begins.

April

- Spent a crazy interesting day in the ER with my instructor.

- Did my first ever real chest compressions on a guy in cardiac arrest, who ended up not making it.

-Screw you ragweed and pollen.

- Last clinical of the school year!

- Finals

- Accepted into the student nurse extern program at the hospital back home!

- I found our goat, Gilbert, dead. Yes, we have a goat. 2 actually. I do not live on a farm. I do not live on a farm.

May

-Cruise to the Bahamas with 5 wonderful friends!

-Gave up meat because of this book.

-Started work and had my first ever 12 hour shift. It was definitely something to get used to!

June

-Felt the pain of losing an amazing person. My friend John was killed in a car accident down at the beach. He was one of Dave’s best friends. It was the hardest week of my life.

-Saw life come into the world 5 times during my day in Labor and Delivery. Simply amazing.

-My sweet cat of 14 years dies.

-New apartment with one of the same roommates and a new roommate!

-5 sweet years with Dave!

July

-4th of July ruined my meat-free streak.

-Had a falling out with my best friend. I have yet to speak to her.

-Went to the ENT and found out that I have a severely deviated septum, sinus polyps, and swollen turbinates that needed to be repaired via surgery.

August

-End of externship!

-Murrells Inlet beach trip with the family

-My freshmen year roommate from Missouri and her boyfriend now fiancé came to stay with us for a night at the beach

-Totaled my car . I got t-boned on the driver’s side of my car. AND the bitch drove off.  It doesn't look totaled but the frame was pushed up and in like 5 inches.

-Got a Jeep!

-Had a nose job. Not Really. Definitely not cosmetic. I can actually breathe! And as of February 1, 2010, I have YET to get sick.

-SENIOR YEAR BEGINS!!!!

September

- Celebrated my 2 of my friend’s 21st. Birthday girl is in the middle.

- Booooo Medical / Surgical Nursing. You suck.

- CAROLINA FOOTBALL!!

October

-Mooooore Carolina football!

-Clemson for Halloween weekend. I didn’t even get to dress up because it was cold and wet and yucky.

November

-Dave and his twin turn 22!

-Med/Surg II almost killed me.

-Nursing school almost killed me

-NEW MOON!

-Clemson gets their asses handed to them by USC!

December

-Last clinical of 2009

-Exams until the last possible day of exams.

-Baby brother turned 18.

-5 ½ years with Dave. !

Overall...I give 2009 at 5 out of 10. 

How would you rate your 2009?