This is the semester that never ends. It goes on and on my friends.
This semester has DRAGGED. I've got the BIGGEST case of senioritis.
My clinical isn't going as I thought it was going to be. I feel like I'm going to be the biggest failure as nurse. I was taught all of these nursing skills in my 4 years in college, but not one of those skills is the 'right' way. Pisses me off.
I hate it when I know I know how to do something, but just because I'm not doing it 'their' way I'm completely wrong. I like to figure things out for myself. I know that I'm dealing with real patients and it might not be best to do the trial and error approach with them but to truly perfect my nursing skills I need to practice and learn on my own. I hate being in the middle of inserting an IV and have the nurse literally take it out of my hands and say ' Just let me do it".
And yes...that did happen today. I felt my heartbeat in my ears I was so ticked off. The tears welled and I seriously almost lost it...and thats just the tip of the iceberg on the pile of crap that I've dealt with during my two consecutive 12 hour shifts at the hospital.
I just want May 7th to get here. I just want to take my state boards. I just want to be a real RN already.
I cannot wait have my RN license in my hand. I can't wait to have the title BSN, RN after my name.
I found this abstract of an article online.
"Student nurses appear to experience significantly more stress during their academic preparation than they do during the first year of employment. Preceptorship is among the most stressful of student experiences. It is within the context of a challenging and at times daunting work environment that two complete strangers (preceptor and student) strive to accommodate one another within a professional capacity. If the relationship between preceptor and student is less than successful, not only can it be frustrating and disheartening, but it can result in student stress and disillusionment about nursing and an inability to integrate and learn. "
I found it here.
And thats all I've got.....I'm poooped. But yay for getting to sleep in tomorrow.