Friday, January 29, 2010

Reasons Why Megan does yoga ALONE.

  1. I am ridiculously uncoordinated. 
  2. I confuse my right with my left and vice versa and tend to mirror the TV which equals me looking like a dumbass.
  3. I'm ridiculously uncoordinated and tend to bust during the 'easy' positions, and somehow manage to be a statue at the 'hard' ones.
  4. I make noise when things get difficult.  Uggggh. Ahh.. uuuum  Noooo.
  5. I curse Tony Horton and his perfectly still and calm friends. Skinny bitches.
  6. I look like I'm having a seizure trying to maintain balance and be still.
  7. My ass looks insanely large when its stuck up in the air in Downward Dog
  8. I laugh at myself . I'd totally get kicked out of a class.
  9. I'd DIE if somebody queefed.
  10. I would be the queefer.  I am the queen of queefing when it comes to some positions.  I crack myself up too much.  I got the giggles just writing #10.
I LOVE doing yoga though. I feel like I could run 5 miles after.  And I feel all stretched out.  Its great. 

Fuuuuuuunnny story though. It has to do with the previous post from earlier...and queefing. (Y’all...I have NO shame).

  My OB teacher has a basket of handmade placentas and plastic pelvic bones ......and plastic vajayjays that have labia, a cervix, a clitoris...everything. She had like 4 of them and they were all dilated to different centimeters. We had to stick our fist up in the vag like you would do during an internal exam to feel to see if we could figure out how dilated it was. Well, my friend got a little carried away with the 5cm vag. She picks it the middle of lecture...shoves it in my face and squeezes it. I literally felt the air in my face. It was loud and sounded so real. Then, Amanda whispers nonchalantly " I queefed on you”.  I was laughing so hard that I was crying, and my other friends didn't help much either. I have no idea how we didn't get kicked out of class.
Oh the cheap thrills of nursing school.

Goodnight y'all!

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