Tuesday, August 31, 2010

My Big Girl Job

I have never been so stressed in my life! 

I tend to go to extremes and think of every possible way that I can mess up and jeopardize my brand new (as of June) RN license.  It's pretty dang easy. 

For instance,
Turn your back for a second and have an old senile lady stand up out of her chair and break her hip. 
Forget to sign ONE signature line. 
Lose a patient...NOT as in die...but as in the patient RUNS for it. (Yes....this old lady can BOOOK IT!)

I'm FREAKIN' out! 

And what scares me now is that even though this job is 'temporary' in my opinion, after I'm done with orientation ( September 13th), I will be on my own.

I should be excited to be able to be an RN on my own.  But the bad thing about this is that it isn't a hospital, and that during 2nd and 3rd shift, there is ONE nurse.  That will mean that me (the-fresh-out-of-school-RN) will be medically responsible/liable for 22 patients. Oh dear Lord. 

What the HELL did I get myself into?

Don't get me wrong.....many of the residents are so sweet...but some just wear you out and watching people die slowly is hard.  I haven't had anyone die on my watch yet, but there are 3 sweet residents that are circling the drain.

I keep telling myself that this is temporary and I'm getting paid and that I can do this until I land my dream job. 

Oh...and I think every single patient knows that I have no clue what I'm doing. 

2 patients that are on my unit, but I didn't have as patients have made me get them up out of their wheelchairs to go to the bathroom only to find out they have depends one.  They haven't been able to sit on/use a toilet in 3 years.  Greeeeat.

One has threatened to hit me if food services didn't hurry up with lunch.  This little lady is 5'1 and probably 90 pounds soaking wet.  This is the same lady that the nurse manager said has drawn blood.  Oh crap.

There is this one hilarious ( and alert and oriented) lady who I LOVE .  You never know what she is going to say.  She's kind of like the 'mama' bird to the 'not-with-it" baby birds.

I was charting one day and she looks at me from the TV room in front of the nurses station and says

" Somebody done shit"
* Leans down....sniffs*
"And it ain't me!!"

I almost fell out of my chair.

Story of my life.


  1. LMAO, those last few lines killed me!

    Welcome to the real world--where you trade panic for money :-P You'll be fine, just gotta get use to it.

  2. I have heard being a new nurse can be so daunting! I am rooting for you!! I am sure your patients love you!!

  3. I believe you can handle all of this; you just need to get a few experiences under your belt! You will be a great nurse, and you can handle these elderly patients. They will respect you all the more for it!

    Keep your chin up and your eyes open! My grandma ran away all the time; she was just trying to go home!


  4. Haha you sound like me! I'm going through the exact same things I feel like! We can do it, though! Just take it one day at a time and give the best care that you can give, and the rest will work itself out :)

  5. I just started too.. Someone gave me a good food for thought the other day though... you're only a first year teacher once. I just started my first day teaching on Tuesday and I constantly feel like I have no idea what I'm doing as well. You have to start somewhere thought right?


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