Praise and prayers

Praise:
- My wonderful friends and family.
- My grandpa's progress in physical therapy after breaking his femur! He got to come home from rehab for 4 hours today and he gets to come home for good on Saturday!
-5 more shifts at my 'old' job
-My new job that I will start on December 6th!
-My aunt Amy and her fiance David are getting married in a little intimate ceremony on Thursday.
-A roof over my head and my health!

Prayers:
-Dave's sweet grandmother passed away on Wednesday. I pray that his family finds peace in knowing that she is no longer in pain.
-My grandpa. I pray that his leg heals well and that his cancer remains where it is at and that it doesn't spread.
-My friend's parent's who will endure their second holiday season without their dear son.

Happy Thanksgiving Y'all!

Love, Megan
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Big News!

I WAS OFFERED A JOB YESTERDAY!

YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!

 They offered it to me on the spot after my interview!  I accepted on the spot too! I start 2 weeks from Monday! I put in my two weeks notice yesterday just because I could!

I am BEYOND excited!

 My reason for not blogging lately has been more stress/borderline depression than me just being lazy.  I've really been in a funk lately and it is mostly to blame on my work.  I was seriously thinking about going to the Dr. to see if I could get something for it, but ever since there have been a few leads on jobs, I've slowly but surely gotten 'happier" and have really felt better. My appetite has slowed down ( Thank God because I was eatting everything) and I've been getting better sleep. I guess I was seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

Two weeks and I'll be OUT of where I'm at and starting fresh!!

My new job offers better pay, better working conditions (aka a floor that has never been used in the somewhat new tower...so brand spankin' new equipment),  and they offer much better benefits.  My new manager is SO nice, we clicked right from the start! I can't wait to start!! Finally a nursing job where I can actually do what I am supposed to do as a nurse!

OH...and yesterday was EXTRA great because by boyfriend's twin brother's girlfriend got a new job today too!

She was in the SAME exact position as me with her job.  She was getting treated horrible and was cussed at on a regular basis by her boss.  She was selling a product blindly to businesses across the country.  She said she was a 'glorified telemarketer for businesses".  Her new job is really close to home and she will be working for a lending company!

Yay for us!  We are celebrating tonight with Mexican food and Margaritas!

Can't wait!

I can't wait for this movie!!

When it rains...It pours.

Monday night was a bad night.  My great uncle died, my grandpa falls and breaks his his femur and my mom informs me that there are questionable spots that showed up on her mammogram that she got last week.

I get 3 hours of crappy sleep and then go into work.  I was able to talk to the staffing lady and she could tell I needed a mental day.  She said I could go after morning med pass. I didn't leave work until 4pm because we got 3 new admits and I worked on morning meds until 11:30am!  I need to get OUT of there. 

All the while I have NO idea what is going on with my Grandpa.

He ended up not breaking his hip. He broke his femur below where he broke it in June. 

 He had surgery last night and they removed the pins from the previous surgery and put in a rod. 

I'm SO glad that he is okay and that there were no complications.  His nurses are so sweet and my parents and everyone else informed the charge nurse that I'm looking for a job. 

They REQUESTED my resume! Oh...and the patient load on that floor is between 5-6 patients.  I'd take that any day compared to my 22 patient load where I'm at now.

Anyways.....I think my stressful day is over until I'm feeding my dogs. 

I was home alone because mom and Dad were at the hospital. 

Max had just finished eatting and I saw him jerk and then he practically did a backflip and had a tonic-clonic seizure right in the middle of the kitchen.  He's had them before but I've never been alone when it's happened.  I was TERRIFIED.  Each time he has one I'm just so afraid this is gonna be the one that kills him. 

He was gurgling on his saliva which was making him make some horrible sound that would bring a tear to your eye. This seizure lasted about 10 minutes and then he lied on the floor unable to get up for about 10minutes also ( I was also lying on the floor face to face with him talking to him and telling him I love him....covered in dog saliva!).  I called my dad in a panic and he rushed home from the hospital to help me out.  By the time Dad got home Max was just starting to get up and wander.  It's so sad because he's completely confused and isn't quite steady on his feet yet and he runs into things and his legs buckle.  Then for about 3 -4 hours he wanders and is just really out of it.

Max.....in the exact spot where he made me almost have a heart attack

Then I slept for what seemed like 2 hours and it's 9am I spent my whole day at the hospital which I was SO glad I could do.  I MADE my grandma go home and shower and sleep.  She had been with my Pappy since Monday night.  I got some QT with Pappy and I wouldn't trade that time for anything. .....well maybe for an UNBROKEN femur. 

So yea....when it rains....it freakin' pours. 

What else?!

You never know how strong you are till being strong is the only choice you've got.

My great uncle Bob passed away today.  His beautiful wife, Anna Lee passed away in February.  He was heartbroken.

My grandfather fell in the bathroon about 30 minutes ago and my grandmother swears his leg is broken.  My parents are at the hospital along with my aunt and her fiance. I can't go because I worked a 14 hour shift today and I work a 12 (probably 14 ) hour shift tomorrow.  On top of this possible broken leg, my Pappy is fighting Lung and Prostate Cancer.

I'm at a loss for words right now.



Farmer's Market!

I woke up early this morning so that my friend Amanda and I could go to the Charlotte Farmer's Market.  I bundled up for the 52 degree weather and had my camera all ready to go.  Halfway there I realized I forgot the battery. Fail.

I was so excited to take pictures of all the pretty fruits and veggies and of me and Amanda trying to be healthy and domestic.

I ended up getting 6 beautiful meduim size tomatoes for $1.15

3 heads of hearts of romaine lettuce for $1.50

A rather large bunch of fresh basil for $1

And a MASSIVE bouquet of flowers for $10. ( If I got these quality flowers at a Flower Shop or at the grocery store I would have paid a TON of money for them.)

Soooo pretty.

Too bad we left because we couldn't handle the cold and Amanda was nauseas and woozy.

We headed to go shopping around Charlotte for the rest of the day.  We hit ONE store and then both felt like we were hit by Mack trucks.  We left for home around 2.

I don't know what hit us...or if it was the same thing that we both have. I feel like craaaaaap though! I haven't been sick in a long time.  I almost vommed coming in the door at my house.  Mom was browning ground beef and onions on the stove.  I made a beeline for my bed and slept until 6. 

 I still feel like pooooooo. 

Sidenote:

Say a little prayer that I'm better for work on Monday because if I'm sick still...work will probably be the death of me. No really.  My nerves are FRIED over that job. I get the shakes everytime I get overwhelmed at work and can feel my blood boiling. I get worry pains for days after I work.  You know when you stress too much and your body just aches? That's how I feel all the time. 

Ok...I'm done.

Hi.

::Disclaimer:: This is HIPAA compliant...and it's a vent post.....hahaaa Beware!

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It feels like years since I've blogged.  We'll I'm back!  Theses past few weeks have been ridiculous.  Work has consumed me. 

And today I had a meltdown at work. I've work 40 hours in 3 days....and I was at my wits end.

I snapped.  I had tears streaming down my face. I was PISSED.

One thing that pisses me off more than anything is people with NO sense of work ethic. 

Well...all but one of my CNA's (Certified Nursing Assistant)  showed NO work ethic today. None.

For starters, we had 3 call outs in the whole facilty...which means that under state laws, we were understaffed, and could get NAILED by JCAHO ( healthcare police...google it).

Then NO ONE would come in to work to help out. If it wasn't their patient, they wouldn't help.  " Oh...that's not my patient".  

There was one CNA that was GOD SEND to me.  She was the reason I didn't have to be admitted to the mental ward.

The others did a half ass job at EVERYTHING.  They didn't turn in vital signs to me until like 5 minutes before they left.  They are supposed to be in a 10am....I got them at 2:45...which means I have to go back into 22 charts to fill them in.  So thats chart checking 44 charts not including the 4000 other times we look through the charts each day.

People sat in shit and pee way longer than they should have. People didn't teeth brushed today. People didn't showers today.  It was shitty care. So sad.  I feel ashamed to say that I work there.

I did way more work as a CNA today than I did as a nurse. 

I was behind on important meds. 

I had a patient that literally took up 2 hours of my time because she wanted a ''nerve pill..AKA Xanax" or a "somethin' for my pain", " or "I'm nauseas" . " Yea...ok....you only sucked down 3 juice cups and keep eatting Reese cups...no wonder you feel sick!. " Oh and she's pretty much addicted to her narcotics so its like throwing a BB at a tank!!  Literally every 5 minutes. Her call light was on all freakin day and I medicated her as much as I could legally.

Finally I ended up sticking my finger up her ass ( Phenergan suppository) and the Phenergan made her drowsy for about 3 hours.  And those were 3 sweet hours. 

Then because I can't get damn vitals from my CNA's who only have to get vitals for 9 patients, I get yelled at by the on-call doctor who said I was unorganized.

Kiss my ass.....try having 22 patients ALONE.

Oh...and I went 14 hours without food or drink.   And yes... ALL OF MY CNA's each had a 30 minutre lunch  break.

Found this online...and it's the honest to God truth.

Please think about this next time you are in the hospital or have family in a hospital or nursing facility

Come walk in our shoes for a 12-hour  (or greater ) shift. Come see the joy,then tragedy, the comedy, the 100 ways we are pulled and pushed AND THEN rate my "pleasant greeting", "answers call light in timely fashion", "states name of patient."

Use the bathroom now, because you might not get the chance againuntil your shift ends.

Wear comfortable shoes. Don't worry if they'reclean. They'll end up with blood and vomit on them.

We are the patient's advocate, the doctors' eyes and ears, and everyone's scapegoat.

We can page your doctor but we can't makethat doctor magically appear.

We check your stitches, wipe your blood, drain your pus and empty your bedpan.

Nursing is a tough job, but we're tougher. We've been yelled at by administrators, supervisors and doctors. We've been kicked, slapped, punched, spat on, and sexually harassed by patients in various states of delirium, mental illness, arrogance, and intoxication. We've even had chairs and food trays thrown at us.

We work mandatory overtime, weekends and holidays. We eat Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners with coworkers.

We deal with families who ignore visiting hours, bring food to patients on restricted diets, and insist on staying the night even though it's not a private room.

We deal with the Florida son whorders us around to show a parent he's neglected for years that hecares.

We cannot be at your side every waking minute. We have 10 ::insert::(or in my case 22)::insert:: other patients.

We cannot answer 5 call lights at once. Wecan't stop doing CPR on a patient because you ran out of tissues.

We are not maids, beauticians, or cocktail waitresses. We are professionals with college degrees.

We hate that we can't spend more bedside time with you, but swearing at us will not make us move faster.

Taking better careof your health would help. Quit smoking. Lose weight. Start exercising. Stop drinking.

How do we survive? We ignore the nasty comments, thedemanding relatives, the crazy staffing grids. We count to 10 before speaking. We pray every morning for strength andwisdom, patience and empathy. We drive home tired and

frustrated, telling ourselves over and over , "I'm not the nurse Iwant to be, but I'm the best nurse the hospital staffing allows meto be." We fall asleep praying for the ones who won't survive the night.

There is no finish line, ever. Nursing is demanding, fulfilling, and we can't imagine doing anything else. Nothing beats washing bloodand glass off a car crash survivor , stabilizing a broken neck,saving a diabetic's leg, keeping a cancer patient in remission.

The day we send a patient home we relish the unbelievable resilience of the human body and spirit.

We did not become nurses for the hours, the salary, or theglamour of it all. We became nurses to make a difference.

We don't ask for much. One sincere Thank You makes all the thankless hours worth it.

Ok... I feel better.