Saturday, June 5, 2010

Because I knew you...

A year ago today...almost a year ago this very hour, I lost a friend.
A year ago, my life changed forever.
A year ago, I felt pain that I've never felt before. 
A year ago, I witnessed a mother mourn for her only child, and a father at a loss for words.
A year ago, I witnessed several grown men weep for their friend.

Today is bitter bittersweet.  Not only does it mark the one year anniversary of John's death, but it is my brother's and boyfriend's sisters' graduation day.   I have no idea how I can fake a smiley face.  I'm so happy for them, but tomorrow I don't know if I can be truly show it. 

My heart hurts so bad for his parents.  I left their house just a few hours ago.  I could see the pain in their eyes. I could hear the pain in their voices. It broke my heart like it did a year ago. 

This song has been in my head since seeing this show on last Saturday....but the words of this couldn't be more true. 

I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you...

Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed.... for good.

It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend...

I love you John Daniel.


  1. That is so heartbreaking. I have no words for comfort ecause there never is any "right" words other than I am thinking of you, his friends and family on this very same day.

  2. That is a lovely song! I'm sorry for your loss. Stay strong i'm sure your mean the world to his family.


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